Throughout written history a lot has been said about the relationship between the conscious and the unconscious. Cloaked under different words and frameworks, philosophical and religious, people through all the ages have instinctively understood that one’s behavior can only be fathomed if one is to delve into the circumstances of early upbringing.
Today’s modern neuroscience makes this clearer than ever. In fact, neuroscientists have discovered that when you make a decision, your brain makes it before you are aware that you made it. This has tremendous implications as to the validity of free will as a concept.
No matter what the case may be, one thing is certain – your life’s path, your predilections, your foibles and strengths stretch all the way from childhood to the death bed. Therefore, in order to truly change your life’s course, you must become cognizant of what made you who you are at present.
People who are liked by others tend to be far more successful in all areas of life. And people will only like you if you create value for them. Were you popular as a kid? If not, why not?
People have intrinsic values and produced values. A smart, funny, eye-pleasing kid will instinctively attract others. He/she may provide entertainment, clever insight, or simply be physically attractive, which is a rarity in the context of the whole population.
Nobody will like you just because you think that your very existence deserves it. If you lack intrinsic features that would make others to like you, you must exert a conscious effort in providing some value for others. Think about your aptitudes and strengths and employ them in this direction. It is a never-ending endeavor, but necessary if you want to have successful romantic and financial relationships.
Statistics show that an overwhelming majority of parents have physically abused their children. Science clearly shows that such common practice disguised as “upbringing” has many deleterious effects on the mental and physical wellbeing of a child.
However, by normalizing this nefarious practice, your parents have contaminated you with an idea that you should do the same to your own children as well. Unlearn this disguised malice, and you will create better, healthier human beings.
Remember those childhood days when every day could be a day of adventure, filling you with enthusiasm and excitement?
Although it is wise to plan out your life, it doesn’t have to transform into a predictable, daily drudgery. Trying something completely different every once in a while, even something uncomfortable, will keep you going more than you would realize.
Don’t Trivialize Friendships
If there is one stark difference between childhood and adulthood that stands out more than anything else, it’s the intensity of a true friendship. Childhood friends almost meld into each other, as kids intrinsically have lower inhibitions to stand in the way of honest expressions and emotions.
This is quite a difficult endeavor to accomplish, but try to have the same attitude towards adult relationships as well. You will be greatly rewarded, while at the same time shedding much of the weight of false friendships, ones that should be more aptly placed into the category of acquaintances.
Childhood is all about dependence, but even then it should be viewed as necessary evil. Something that is to be expected, but minimized as much as possible. There is nothing worse in life than encouraging dependent behavior, making you unprepared for life’s struggles, making you emotionally needy and unappealing. The more financially and emotionally independent you are, the more attractive you will become. Like creating value, it is a never-ending effort.
Above else, the most important thing you can do to correct the course of your life is to thoroughly review your relationship with your parents. They are the programmers who set you up, who produced emotional cues and conditioned your own emotional responses. Their very relationship is subconsciously embedded in your mind; upon which you unwittingly model your own relationships.